Trousers are very interesting. I’m wearing a pair even as I type this.

They are very useful for covering the lower parts of the body for those occasions when it is unsuitable to be seen walking around town in just a string vest.

You can have long trousers which come down to just above the shoe (more of which in a later blog) or you can wear a variety of lengths dependent on the weather or simply your preference. Trousers which have been cut to above the knee are known as ’shorts’. Shorts vary in length from just below the knee right up to crotch level (essential for those who have incredible legs and the required amount of exhibitionism).

I have about twenty pairs of trousers, including those which accompany suit jackets (more of which in another later blog). Some are more casual than others with the ubiquitous denim jean variety seeing the light of day more often than the others. Some of my trousers have lots of pockets all the way down the side of each leg. These are called ‘Cargo Pants’ and are very difficult to walk in when you actually stow your ‘cargo’ away in them. In reality, you’d be best advised to carry little more than a mobile phone, set of keys and a wallet, otherwise you’ll find it hard to run for a bus without your cargo pants ending up round your ankles. And, of course, you can carry this bare minimum in an ordinary pair of trousers anyway which rather negates the reason for the existence of cargo pants. I suppose they appeal to those who want to appear adventurous and outdoorsy giving the impression that they’ve just descended from the heights of Mount Kilimanjaro and trekked for 14 days across the Sahara (which is quite a long walk, I can tell you - actually I can’t, but I’m wearing cargo pants at the moment and they are influencing me).

Why are trousers a plural word? Do monopeds wear a ‘trouser’? This deeply philosophical question reminds me of the time when Vivian Stanshall and Roger Ruskin Spear of The Bonzo Dog Band went to a Savile Row tailors and asked to see a pair of trousers. They tested one pair for strength by pulling it, one leg each, between them. Eventually, to the horror of the perplexed assistant, the trousers ripped into two separate legs. Right on cue, as organised in advance by these two ace pranksters, a one legged man hopped into the shop and shouted “They’re just the ticket! I’ll buy both!”

According to Wikipedia, Nomadic Eurasian horsemen/women such as the Iranian Scythians, along with Achaemenid Persians were among the first to wear trousers. and that they were introduced to Western Europe by a clown. A CLOWN! It really makes sense: Trousers were introduced into Western European culture at several points in history, but gained their current predominance only in the 16th century, from a Commedia dell’Arte character named Pantalone (Italian word for Trousers)

Trousers. Where would we be without them?

Sorry about the lack of updates, folks, but you know what it’s like.

Not only have I been madly busy, but I have also been asked to develop the idea for a sitcom! Nothing will be revealed about that until it is listed in Radio Times!

Below is a montage of all the things that have been keeping me busy!

This morning I went swimming. I normally try to swim about three times a week.

I like swimming.

Normally I start off with ten leisurely lengths of front crawl. It’s better to warm up with crawl than with any other stroke. I take a breath on every third stroke which means that your head rises out of the water on both sides throughout the swim. This is good for a balanced, even swimming motion.

Then I do ten lengths of breast stroke. I was a bit wary of it for a while after developing a back problem. Too much breast stroke can exacerbate back problems. But since my back has improved I can swim breast stroke with less worry. And you don’t need to be worried while swimming. Swimming is ideal for easing worries. The thing I love about breast stroke is the continuous flow of movement between arms and legs. First the arms pull and then the legs push and so on. Sometimes it’s nice to do it really slowly just to observe and anlayse your movements and feel the water rushing over your body.

I don’t often do a lot of full backstroke, but I separate the stroke up. As my legs are not the most developed part of my body (I can hardly run any distance) I do four lengths back stroke legs only. This really tones up the thigh and lower back muscles - if you do it properly. You mustn’t let your knees break the surfacfe of the water when swimming backstroke. The legs should move from the hip and the the ankles should be flexing freely.

Then I will usually do four lengths backstroke arms only which is really easy for me as an upper-body-type person and then two lengths full back stroke. The thing about backstroke arm movements is that you have to graze the sides of your ears as you plunge the arms in to the water and then bend the arm under water to push the water away along your sides.

Sometimes, if I am feeling energetic and have had a good night’s sleep, and if the pool isn’t too crowded so I don’t feel too much of a show-off, I will do a couple of lengths butterfly. Now this stroke is simply my favourite, especially as it is the one that most makes you feel like a fish. It is a shame it is so exhausting otherwise I would be doing it all the time. Your body pumps backwards and forwards in what might be considered a slightly pornographic movement, with the feet htting the water together giving you forward propulsion. Then the arms windmill on both sides simultaneously giving you extra thrust. On every second arm stroke you come flying out of the water for a gasp of air and then continue. You can regulate butterfly to suit your own fitness and can even do it quite slowly, enjoying the movements of the limbs and the timing of the stroke.

And then, the whole process repeats itself over a period of 45 - 60 minutes and I go home feeling that every muscle has been put back in place and that nothing else matters in the world.

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The merry folks of 2tenfm a radio station in Reading, thoroughly enjoyed my company last night in the Island Bar on Caversham Island in Reading.

They insisted I stay an hour longer (extra pay!) and I actually stayed half an hour longer than that such was the queue of eager ‘victims’!

I was hired for this event by Circus Magic even though I’m not in a Circus and I don’t do magic (except for the obvious graphic sort!)

Here is photographic evidence of the sort of good time you can have with a caricaturist at the party.

Click to enlarge!

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Yes, here’s my latest promo video! This was filmed at a party for the Travel Trade Gazette after their week at The World Travel Market in the Excel Centre in London’s Docklands.

Those lovely people from Conrad Advertising were there and we all had a marvellous time. And I didn’t even pay people to laugh and look happy! (Apart from handing out my Million Pound Note business cards!)

Having a caricaturist to work LIVE at your event, party, exhibition, wedding, product launch or client party is the ideal way to break the ice, entertain the guests and leave them with a lasting memento of your hospitality.

With each sheet printed with your details, these caricatures become valuable PR tools!

Phew! I’ve been busy!

Not only have I had an in-tray full of the usual caricatures-from-photos commissions, but I have also had character design work for an advertising campaign (the tortoise and hare), a commission of Madonna for a London website, Cockney Online, a cartoon for NHS Management Consultants, Amnis Ltd - that’s the one with what looks like Dr Who and the Tardis (but, for legal reasons, could just as well be any old Police Box and a bloke in a long coat!).

The group caricature work is particularly time consuming but great fun - and it keeps me off the streets!

Click on any image to enlarge!

IN BETWEEN studio caricatures and cartoons I have been on the road travelling the length and breadth of the country, oh alright, Middlesex, Surrey and Oxfordshire, purveying my unique brand of caricature entertainment. Here are some of my latest victims:

ABOVE: Two cheeky girls in Eastcote, Middlesex. BELOW: A gaggle of delighted customers (despite some of the facial expressions!) in Milton Manor House, Oxon. BOTTOM: The Mayor and Lady Mayor of Didcot looking extremely pleased at Milton Manor House.

Yes! The London Caricaturist would like to create a few more millionaires in the world.
Simply print out the top two images on this page then turn the paper over and print the bottom two images and with a little luck and, no doubt, a bit of trial and error, you can print your own Million Pound Notes!

Don’t spend it all at once!

You can keep up with all my latest news quite easily on Twitter.

Follow The London Caricaturist.

Amstrad boss and terrifying nemesis of many would-be entrepreneurs on TV show The Apprentice, Sir Alan Sugar celebrated his 40th wedding anniversary a few weeks ago.

His good friend and Aviation expert, George Galanopoulos sensibly commissioned a colour caricature of Sir Alan and his wife Lady Ann. My good friend and colleague, Steve Hearn was unable to complete this in time so he kindly put George (and his wife Amanda) in touch with me.

As they’re so much into flying and tennis, the following image was approved and the finished colour caricature was very well-received!

The Speech bubbles were not my idea - George commissioned those as well! Apparently the Sugars would find them very funny!