What are you going to do when you grow up?

Half a century later and I am still undecided. I’ve managed to hack out a living from cartoons and caricatures, all the while being in love with writing, humour, TV and films. If I could equal the living I’m making simply by tapping a keyboard and eventually seeing the contents of my fevered imagination spilled all over a TV or cinema screen, I would do it like a shot. Maybe it’s not too late for me to burst upon the advertising scene, or maybe I could become a quirky TV presenter. I could launch my own line of pink fashion flares or a range of pasta sauces with my beaming face on the labels. With my imagination I could come up with ‘a new type of bank account’ – one which pays no interest whatsoever. Or perhaps I could simply come up with A Totally New Concept and sell it without saying what the concept is. I could become a Life Coach and teach people how to breathe in and then breathe out. “That’ll keep you alive.” The Wealth Creation Industry appeals to me. Their huge factories in the Welsh valleys spewing out smoke from wealth creating mills from which lorries drive out carrying piles of newly made wealth to sell to eager customers all over the world. And of course, it’ll all be because I want to help people. I want to help people to help me. I’ll publish self-help books in which I propound that in order to help yourself you just have to help yourself. And these, of course, will spawn websites and social networks devoted to my teachings. I will teach Gurus how to be Gurus and there will be many levels of networker whom I will teach to be totally altruistic in their desire to pay me their subscriptions.

Maybe I should go into satire. Though it’s not as funny as slapstick.

Do YOU know what you want to be when you grow up?

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